Feed the Parts That Are Coming Alive
When what was once known and familiar suddenly feels foreign.
I stopped painting my nails recently.
One day, after years of loving the act, I decided to remove the polish and go bare.
There was no big reason, just a tiny, quiet impulse.
A small and simple knowing that I just didn’t want to anymore.
While this might seem like an odd topic for a newsletter, it’s a symptom of something greater: a shift in self, the seed of a new season, and a symbol of inevitable changes.
As I find myself navigating forward in the elusive “other side” of my health challenges, there’s been a ton of frustration and confusion. An inability to do many of the things I enjoyed before. Sometimes because I’m still too tired and swollen or sore, and sometimes because so many things just don’t fit or feel right anymore.
But it’s not just the nails…
Writing and creating the way I have for years has become a struggle.
Being outside in traditional ways hasn’t been filling me up like it used to.
My morning routine feels more suffocating than expansive.
Many relationships have become less of a priority.
My tolerance for certain experiences has bottomed out.
While aspects of these things are absolutely symptoms of burnout, I can also feel that a lot of it is the agitation of liminal space—the ambiguous disorientation of transition as I move through the doorway from what was to what’s next.
It’s not all one big death, though.
There’s also…