In Order to Live Our Purpose, We Have to Embrace the Things That Scare Us Most

We need more people showing up as who they’re here to be, contributing to the world in the way that only they can.

For most of my life, I gave my power and sense of self-worth to a small number of people.

My parents and family.

My friends and partners.

My clients and audience.

I allowed their perceptions and beliefs to shape how I showed up, their opinions of and preferences for me to inform how I was and who I chose to be.

This is normal, of course.

Our subconscious winning strategies are formed so young—well before our conscious minds with their ability to accept or reject information come online—and they develop us so thoroughly we don’t even realize they’re there. We continue striving for some sense of safety, security, success, love, and belonging at the expense of who we’re here to be: our purpose, our soul’s work (which is so much more than how we make a living inside a capitalistic society), and our truly aligned, fully expressed life.

I’ve long known I’m not here to be the “best” friend, sister, partner, daughter, or [insert role here]. I certainly strive to be with the people I love, but that’s not the point of me. It’s not why I exist on this random rock twirling through this vast universe.

Yet I allowed those roles and the people opposite me inside of them to dictate so much. Too much. My worth, my goodness and rightness, my pathways, and my time. I spent my entire life trying to be precisely what others wanted or needed and to be the best damn version of that so I could feel loved, chosen, special, and irreplaceable.

It cost me and the world so much.

Because when we don’t lean into our purpose wholeheartedly, showing up as who we’re here to be and doing what we feel called to do, everyone suffers. There’s no one to hold up our little corner of the web of life in exactly the way we’re meant to because we’re too busy trying to be perfect versions of what others (or society) wants us to be.